In preparation for my 30th birthday all last year I could be heard saying that 30 is the new 20. But now I’m 30 and I have to admit that it sucks to get older. This cold bug I caught can be blamed. I am looking forward to being able to breathe through my nose again. I take for granted my nose and its clear airways and also my throat and the absence of pain until a sore throat hits.
I am now on cycle day 20 and I do not think I’ve ovulated this month yet. I have had some fertility signs indicating that ovulation might be approaching based on cervical mucus findings, but up until this morning it has been difficult to take my basal temperature because I was sick and stuffed up. I hope that I will have a high basal temp tomorrow morning. That would be great. Like last month even if I don’t get pregnant this month it would be nice to ovulate at the very least.
This weekend I realized that May is on its way in just a few short months and I don’t know if I’m prepared for it. I am not prepared for the year anniversary of Orion’s birth. I think maybe my husband and I should go on a vacation for Orion’s birthday. I was hoping that I would be pregnant by May so that I can be happy about something in our near future, but I’m not sure I will be pregnant by then now that I know I’m struggling so much to ovulate monthly.
Not only do we have to deal with infertility we also have to deal with the fact that we might loose the baby we tried so hard to get to SMA. That sucks to say the least. I feel bad for my husband sometimes because of my infertility. Yesterday he was depressed. I haven’t seen him that bad since just after Orion passed. I wished I could do something for him, but I was thankful that I wasn’t having a bad day too. That would have been difficult. I just wish my body worked. I do feel less of a woman sometimes due to my issues.
On another note I might be changing jobs within the same company. It will be a good move for me I think and it involves a raise, so that’s always good. I will be taking the job one of my good friends is vacating. I’m sad that she is leaving. My direct supervisor will be my current Bishop at church. He is great, so I’m happy about this. I just have to make it official and find a replacement for my job, train them, and then I can go be trained for my friend’s job…my future job.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Cycle 3 Day 1
Cycle 3 Day 1
So, I started my period. Yeah, I’m a little bummed about that, but at least I ovulated. I have a chance if I ovulate. In a few short days I’ll be taking Clomid again to help with ovulation this month. I’m okay with not being pregnant yet. It is a little sad, but I’d rather wait. I’d like to think that if it happened this month maybe it would have been an affected baby (SMA), so it’s better to hold off one month and have a healthy child instead.
At least this next time I’ll be on a short vacation during the two week wait to find out if we are pregnant or not, so at least I’ll be distracted. That will be nice.
I did have pretty bad PMS this month. I wonder if it was that bad because it has been so long since I last ovulated. We’ll see how it goes with this next cycle here. Last night my cramps were not very fun, but I went to bed early and that helped.
Cruella, thanks for the comment. I forget that anyone reads this sometimes…I don’t think anyone else does! Least of all someone who might know me personally.
So, I started my period. Yeah, I’m a little bummed about that, but at least I ovulated. I have a chance if I ovulate. In a few short days I’ll be taking Clomid again to help with ovulation this month. I’m okay with not being pregnant yet. It is a little sad, but I’d rather wait. I’d like to think that if it happened this month maybe it would have been an affected baby (SMA), so it’s better to hold off one month and have a healthy child instead.
At least this next time I’ll be on a short vacation during the two week wait to find out if we are pregnant or not, so at least I’ll be distracted. That will be nice.
I did have pretty bad PMS this month. I wonder if it was that bad because it has been so long since I last ovulated. We’ll see how it goes with this next cycle here. Last night my cramps were not very fun, but I went to bed early and that helped.
Cruella, thanks for the comment. I forget that anyone reads this sometimes…I don’t think anyone else does! Least of all someone who might know me personally.
Monday, January 22, 2007
CD 29
CD 29
So, today I had a huge decrease in my basal temperature reading! I am a little bummed, but hoping that tomorrow my temps will go back up to the high zone. I have read mixed reviews on the whole “implantation dip” thing and am grasping to the hope that this is the case for me…after all I did have a dip just before ovulation as well, so never know. I have no idea what happened last time with Orion since I wasn’t taking my temps at that point. If my temp does go up again tomorrow morning I’ll be so excited because I think this can be a very good indicator for some people. I can say that I had a pretty bad bout of nausea on Saturday afternoon. Yesterday in church I had some pretty uncomfortable stomach cramps. I was ready to get home for sure. Today hasn’t been so bad, but I am tired (I wish I had the night off tonight so I can sleep) and very, very crabby. I’m annoyed with just about everything today and know that the best place for me today would have been at home in bed instead of trying to interact with people. Oh well, I’ll take that as a good sign. I have been going to the bathroom a lot and I do have increased appetite today. I feel like I could eat every two hours.
I guess all my hope hinges on that basal temperature reading tomorrow morning to see if it gets back up. If it doesn’t go back up and I have my period soon that means that all the symptoms I’ve been feeling have been in my head. I am trying not to exaggerate any of them, but it’s possible that I want them so badly that it is just happening anyway. My husband thinks I’m pregnant. I would feel bad if I wasn’t. Next month I’ll try not to speak of any symptoms I might be having until after the pregnancy is confirmed. I think I’ll just stop now too just in case I’m not.
So, today I had a huge decrease in my basal temperature reading! I am a little bummed, but hoping that tomorrow my temps will go back up to the high zone. I have read mixed reviews on the whole “implantation dip” thing and am grasping to the hope that this is the case for me…after all I did have a dip just before ovulation as well, so never know. I have no idea what happened last time with Orion since I wasn’t taking my temps at that point. If my temp does go up again tomorrow morning I’ll be so excited because I think this can be a very good indicator for some people. I can say that I had a pretty bad bout of nausea on Saturday afternoon. Yesterday in church I had some pretty uncomfortable stomach cramps. I was ready to get home for sure. Today hasn’t been so bad, but I am tired (I wish I had the night off tonight so I can sleep) and very, very crabby. I’m annoyed with just about everything today and know that the best place for me today would have been at home in bed instead of trying to interact with people. Oh well, I’ll take that as a good sign. I have been going to the bathroom a lot and I do have increased appetite today. I feel like I could eat every two hours.
I guess all my hope hinges on that basal temperature reading tomorrow morning to see if it gets back up. If it doesn’t go back up and I have my period soon that means that all the symptoms I’ve been feeling have been in my head. I am trying not to exaggerate any of them, but it’s possible that I want them so badly that it is just happening anyway. My husband thinks I’m pregnant. I would feel bad if I wasn’t. Next month I’ll try not to speak of any symptoms I might be having until after the pregnancy is confirmed. I think I’ll just stop now too just in case I’m not.
Friday, January 19, 2007
CD 26 and counting down
CD 26
I am stoked because I just got a message from the nurse at my doctor’s office. My progesterone level was 18.6!!! I’m so happy. I knew because of my basal temperature that I had ovulated this month, but it’s good to hear these results. Last month my progesterone level was only 0.4, so this is a huge increase in numbers. Now I just have to continue on in my two week wait. If it doesn’t happen this month I hope it will happen next month. It’s a good thing to have just ovulated in the first place.
In the way of symptoms I do have to get up (for the past three nights) to pee in the middle of the night. I also as of today officially have tender nipples. (Or it might be because I keep pinching them to check...haha.) I have been a bit emotional lately. I almost shed a tear last night watching The OC when Taylor read Ryan’s poem. J I normally would not be touched about that kind of thing. Oh and I also got upset about something stupid at work and felt like crying out of frustration. My emotions are just all over the place. I know it could just be PMS too, but I would like to think it’s more than that.
I’m also happy it’s Friday. I’m ready for the weekend. I have some plans, but they do include sleeping in tomorrow morning!!!
I am stoked because I just got a message from the nurse at my doctor’s office. My progesterone level was 18.6!!! I’m so happy. I knew because of my basal temperature that I had ovulated this month, but it’s good to hear these results. Last month my progesterone level was only 0.4, so this is a huge increase in numbers. Now I just have to continue on in my two week wait. If it doesn’t happen this month I hope it will happen next month. It’s a good thing to have just ovulated in the first place.
In the way of symptoms I do have to get up (for the past three nights) to pee in the middle of the night. I also as of today officially have tender nipples. (Or it might be because I keep pinching them to check...haha.) I have been a bit emotional lately. I almost shed a tear last night watching The OC when Taylor read Ryan’s poem. J I normally would not be touched about that kind of thing. Oh and I also got upset about something stupid at work and felt like crying out of frustration. My emotions are just all over the place. I know it could just be PMS too, but I would like to think it’s more than that.
I’m also happy it’s Friday. I’m ready for the weekend. I have some plans, but they do include sleeping in tomorrow morning!!!
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
CD 23
CD 23
I’m really looking forward to my blood test on Thursday to confirm ovulation! I am more excited to start feeling pregnancy symptoms full force. J I really hope that I am pregnant, but on the other hand if I’m not pregnant this month it is for a reason. I’d like to think that it’s Heavenly Father saying that the baby would have been positive for SMA if it had been fertilized. I’ll wait another month if it means we have a healthy baby instead. So, today I have been pressing the sides of my chest to see how sensitive my breasts are. I have a little bit of sensitivity, but I’d like more. Also, I’m tired. Last night I went to bed before 11 (early for me) AND I got up to pee around 2 AM. I haven’t gotten up to pee in the middle of the night since I was pregnant with Orion. I’m so happy. Dare I hope that I am pregnant again? How exciting.
I’m going to try not to think about it.
Who am I kidding? I’ll be thinking about it all the way until I take the pregnancy test and find out if I’m pregnant or if I’ll be taking another round of Clomid. I hope that over the next few days my symptoms become more and more pronounced to confirm a pregnancy though. I miss being pregnant. I also feel bad for Dom. He wants to be a dad so badly. We both want to be parents and I want to give him a healthy child.
I’m really looking forward to my blood test on Thursday to confirm ovulation! I am more excited to start feeling pregnancy symptoms full force. J I really hope that I am pregnant, but on the other hand if I’m not pregnant this month it is for a reason. I’d like to think that it’s Heavenly Father saying that the baby would have been positive for SMA if it had been fertilized. I’ll wait another month if it means we have a healthy baby instead. So, today I have been pressing the sides of my chest to see how sensitive my breasts are. I have a little bit of sensitivity, but I’d like more. Also, I’m tired. Last night I went to bed before 11 (early for me) AND I got up to pee around 2 AM. I haven’t gotten up to pee in the middle of the night since I was pregnant with Orion. I’m so happy. Dare I hope that I am pregnant again? How exciting.
I’m going to try not to think about it.
Who am I kidding? I’ll be thinking about it all the way until I take the pregnancy test and find out if I’m pregnant or if I’ll be taking another round of Clomid. I hope that over the next few days my symptoms become more and more pronounced to confirm a pregnancy though. I miss being pregnant. I also feel bad for Dom. He wants to be a dad so badly. We both want to be parents and I want to give him a healthy child.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Ovulation has occured
CD 22
I’m pretty sure I ovulated. I don’t want to get too excited, but I’ve been charting my basal temps and boom, on Friday they started to go up. Now, this morning the temp was high still (even higher than the previous three), so it gives me hope that I actually did ovulate. I go in for a blood test this week and I am looking forward to hearing the results of that one. I am trying not to think about what symptoms I might be starting to experience soon (pregnancy symptoms). I’m just stoked to have ovulated. Even if I don’t get pregnant this month I am thankful to have an egg pass! I’m thrilled that my body is working the way it should now.
Now I just have to wait another week and a half to see if I am pregnant or not. If not I’ll just try again next month.
I’m pretty sure I ovulated. I don’t want to get too excited, but I’ve been charting my basal temps and boom, on Friday they started to go up. Now, this morning the temp was high still (even higher than the previous three), so it gives me hope that I actually did ovulate. I go in for a blood test this week and I am looking forward to hearing the results of that one. I am trying not to think about what symptoms I might be starting to experience soon (pregnancy symptoms). I’m just stoked to have ovulated. Even if I don’t get pregnant this month I am thankful to have an egg pass! I’m thrilled that my body is working the way it should now.
Now I just have to wait another week and a half to see if I am pregnant or not. If not I’ll just try again next month.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Cycling...ovulating?
CD 17
I’m just not sure if I ovulated or not at this point. I had a dip in my basal temperature on Monday morning (day 15) and was feeling pretty discouraged about that because I felt like I was going in the wrong direction. I googled the dip in temperature and was thrilled to find out that some women experience a dip the actual day of ovulation. I went from depressed to elated in just a matter of minutes. (I was feeling pretty down on Sunday). I was hoping to then wake up the next morning with an elevated temperature indicating that ovulation had occurred, but unfortunately it only went up a bit. I again checked the internet and discovered that it can be a gradual rise after ovulation as well. I again took my temperature this morning to see that it rose back to my normal temperature again. Maybe tomorrow it will be even higher? That would sure be nice. Maybe gradual for me is three days. If I don’t ovulate this month I know I’ll feel even more disappointed than last month. Then what if I didn’t ovulate yet…just another day will complete the 5-10 day wait after taking Clomid. What’s wrong with me? The first time I ever took Clomid it worked for me and I got pregnant because of ovulation. Why is it so difficult to ovulate now? I’m trying not to give up hope on this since I very well could have ovulated the other day and I’m just experiencing mood swings and the gradual temperature rise. It would be nice if I woke up tomorrow morning and my temperature was much higher and stayed that way. I’d feel better. Even if I don’t get pregnant this month it would sure be nice to have an egg pass through.
I have been experiencing the whole gamut of emotions over the past few days. I have been hopeful and positive that this month was the month and then on the other hand I’ve felt like a child would never come from my womb again. I felt worthless. This can be a good thing though because possibly it means that something is working hormonally. (I have to look on the bright side). I’m looking forward to next week when I’ll have another blood test to find out more conclusively if I’ve ovulated. That will give me more piece of mind.
I’m just not sure if I ovulated or not at this point. I had a dip in my basal temperature on Monday morning (day 15) and was feeling pretty discouraged about that because I felt like I was going in the wrong direction. I googled the dip in temperature and was thrilled to find out that some women experience a dip the actual day of ovulation. I went from depressed to elated in just a matter of minutes. (I was feeling pretty down on Sunday). I was hoping to then wake up the next morning with an elevated temperature indicating that ovulation had occurred, but unfortunately it only went up a bit. I again checked the internet and discovered that it can be a gradual rise after ovulation as well. I again took my temperature this morning to see that it rose back to my normal temperature again. Maybe tomorrow it will be even higher? That would sure be nice. Maybe gradual for me is three days. If I don’t ovulate this month I know I’ll feel even more disappointed than last month. Then what if I didn’t ovulate yet…just another day will complete the 5-10 day wait after taking Clomid. What’s wrong with me? The first time I ever took Clomid it worked for me and I got pregnant because of ovulation. Why is it so difficult to ovulate now? I’m trying not to give up hope on this since I very well could have ovulated the other day and I’m just experiencing mood swings and the gradual temperature rise. It would be nice if I woke up tomorrow morning and my temperature was much higher and stayed that way. I’d feel better. Even if I don’t get pregnant this month it would sure be nice to have an egg pass through.
I have been experiencing the whole gamut of emotions over the past few days. I have been hopeful and positive that this month was the month and then on the other hand I’ve felt like a child would never come from my womb again. I felt worthless. This can be a good thing though because possibly it means that something is working hormonally. (I have to look on the bright side). I’m looking forward to next week when I’ll have another blood test to find out more conclusively if I’ve ovulated. That will give me more piece of mind.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
CD 9 Cycle 2
CD 9
Today I will be taking the last dose of Clomid for this cycle. I can’t believe it. I just have to wait now to see if ovulation will occur this time around. I was very discouraged last month when I didn’t ovulate. In three days my husband and I are supposed to start trying for a little over a week and then I just have to wait until day 25 to take my blood test. In the meantime I am being very cliché this year and starting a diet and exercise program today. I hope to stick to it. My goal this month is to loose 4 pounds. I don’t want to loose too much just before getting pregnant, but if I don’t get pregnant this month I’d hate to waste the time. Next month I’ll go for another four pounds if I’m not pregnant yet. I’m doing pretty good about not drinking soda. I did have a few over the weekend for the New Year’s holiday time, but I don’t feel like I need one today. I just wanted to get out of the daily habit of drinking sodas. That alone should help me lose a bit of weight. I’m going to try eating an apple or two a day as well because I heard about a diet where you eat an apple before every meal.
I picked a tropical vacation destination to visit finally. We wanted to go to the Caribbean waters, but just didn’t know what. We thought about doing a Sandals vacation, but that is just so expensive. At that point I completely changed locations to Maui, Hawaii. Then a construction worker recently mentioned that he was going to Mexico soon with his girlfriend and we discussed the area. It sounded perfect and I started looking into that area and I’m excited now. It would be fun to go before morning sickness or after it passes. I just have to start planning the trip now. I’ll get more excited when we have actually paid for the trip.
Wish me luck!!!
Today I will be taking the last dose of Clomid for this cycle. I can’t believe it. I just have to wait now to see if ovulation will occur this time around. I was very discouraged last month when I didn’t ovulate. In three days my husband and I are supposed to start trying for a little over a week and then I just have to wait until day 25 to take my blood test. In the meantime I am being very cliché this year and starting a diet and exercise program today. I hope to stick to it. My goal this month is to loose 4 pounds. I don’t want to loose too much just before getting pregnant, but if I don’t get pregnant this month I’d hate to waste the time. Next month I’ll go for another four pounds if I’m not pregnant yet. I’m doing pretty good about not drinking soda. I did have a few over the weekend for the New Year’s holiday time, but I don’t feel like I need one today. I just wanted to get out of the daily habit of drinking sodas. That alone should help me lose a bit of weight. I’m going to try eating an apple or two a day as well because I heard about a diet where you eat an apple before every meal.
I picked a tropical vacation destination to visit finally. We wanted to go to the Caribbean waters, but just didn’t know what. We thought about doing a Sandals vacation, but that is just so expensive. At that point I completely changed locations to Maui, Hawaii. Then a construction worker recently mentioned that he was going to Mexico soon with his girlfriend and we discussed the area. It sounded perfect and I started looking into that area and I’m excited now. It would be fun to go before morning sickness or after it passes. I just have to start planning the trip now. I’ll get more excited when we have actually paid for the trip.
Wish me luck!!!
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
CD 2 Cycle 2
I got my period for Christmas along with a couple zits on my chin…big ones. Oh well, it’s for the greater good of family planning. I can handle it. I finished my Provera on Saturday and started my cycle yesterday in the afternoon. I’m looking forward to Friday when I start my next round of Clomid. I really, really hope that I ovulate and even better conceive this month! That would be extra exciting. We will just have to wait and see what happens and let the medicine go to work.
My mother in law is in town for a week. She is one of the greatest people I know.
My mother in law is in town for a week. She is one of the greatest people I know.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Day 40 Cycle 1
No ovulation last month. I was pretty bummed out after I got my lab results. I am now on day 40 of my cycle and hoping to start a new cycle soon so that I can take Clomid again. This time I will be taking 100 mg of Clomid. I really hope that it works for me. Just to ovulate would be something because then at least I have a chance at conceiving.
I have been taking Provera again to induce my cycle. I started that a week ago and I have three more doses to take after today. Last month I started my cycle before I was even done taking Provera, so I’m sure I could start any day now. I had some cramps today, so hopefully that is a good sign that things are moving along. Never in my life did I think I’d be so excited to have a period! I haven’t been feeling any weird symptoms so far, but I hear that hot flashes are more intense on the higher dosage of Clomid. At least it is winter and I can just go outside for a minute to cool down if need be.
I have committed myself to not taking my basal temp this month. I have discontinued it for now and might pick up on it again towards the end of my next cycle just to see how things might have turned out, but for now it’s just something extra to think about. I have been hyper-vigilant about all things related to my cycle and that is just difficult and disappointing for me due to my irregularity. It’s all still up in the air whether or not I’ll be taking ovulation predictor kits when the time gets close. I have a few left from last month, so I might just use those to see if I catch anything.
I’m looking forward to Christmas. We have many more gifts under the tree than last year. Last year cash was tight because of all the debts we had. This year now that we are paid off it is great. I have been trying (unsuccessfully) to save my second job money to pay for a truck. My husband has been off of work for the past month, so we have been living off my two incomes. When he goes back to work in January we hope to start saving at that point. I’d like to get my car repaired (body work) and also take a vacation or two before we have another baby and before I quit my second job. If super expensive vacations don’t happen right now that’s okay too. I have my little list prioritized. It will be nice to just get some cash saved instead of being in the hole. It’s nice just to have the monthly utilities to pay. I hope to keep my job until April at the very least and then I’ll scale back to one full time job. I look forward to that day.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
CD 18
Today I am on day 18 of my cycle and I am not sure if I ovulated or not. I started taking ovulation tests on cycle day 12 and had a slight purple line on the result side of the window. I know that Clomid can kind of mess with the results, so I was waiting for a dark purple line to indicate ovulation was going to occur. I had also heard to test in the afternoon and twice a day to detect the surge. I was on vacation for Thanksgiving though and could not test at the same time daily, so this was not ideal. We did see purple for many days, but it was hard to tell if the test was a positive or not. I think it was more frustrating than last year when we conceived. I didn’t get ovulation tests and we did just fine. I don’t know if I’m going to try that again next month (if I don’t get pregnant this month.) I did take tests up until yesterday when I got one that was obviously absent of any purple line. I must have already ovulated then during my purple days. I just don’t know what day. There were days that the purple line was pretty darn close to the control line. I could have had diluted urine (I drink a lot of water). I am charting my basal temps still, but that was kind of screwy as well since I didn’t get up at the same time daily and sometimes would forget to put the thermometer next to my bedside and would have to walk over and find it in my travel bag. I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that it did happen. Dom and I made sure to cover our bases just in case if you know what I mean. Part of me still wants to take the ovulation predictor tests for a few more days just to see if I experience more purple lines. I have three left since I bought two boxes, so I just might do that.
I’m not experiencing anything yet except for some stomach irritation and fatigue today. I don’t remember how early I felt symptoms last time and I did not chart my temps last time, so that will be new to me. I hope I can be lucky enough to conceive quickly again. I do know that I started to feel very tired and had breast tenderness last time pretty early on, but I think it was just before my period would have started, so I have to wait another week and a half to see what happens. I don’t think it happened this month though. I doubt that I even ovulated. I’ll go in for a lab next week to find out for sure though. That will set my mind at ease. If I at least ovulate I have a chance.
It is nice to be actively trying though instead of just waiting. It is hard to wait, but I have waited before. I’m learning a great lesson in patience. I wish I would have been more detailed last time in my journal at home to compare. At least this time I’m trying to be more aware. I think last time everything was just so surreal. I really didn’t expect to get pregnant the very first month of Clomid. I had no expectations going into the experience. This time I have hope that I will have the same luck, but who knows. I just hope it does happen in the first three months like my doctor predicted.
I don’t know if tracking things helps or not. It can’t be healthy to think about conceiving so much. I mean, charting temps, taking daily ovulation tests…just waiting for the time to come. It is just too much anticipation. If I don’t get pregnant this month I’ll probably not go crazy with all this stuff next time. We did just fine last year without it. I think I was more relaxed too which helps. The blood test that I am getting next week will be more accurate than those tests I did all week this week, so I might as well just let the doctor do her thing and let things happen as they happen.
In the meantime I am going to cut out sodas again. It is time. I indulged since Orion passed away in comfort “foods” like soda, but now I need to be back on track. I’m also going to try to make more time for exercise for the next few weeks. If I’m given a bit more time without pregnancy I might as well make the most of it.
I’m not experiencing anything yet except for some stomach irritation and fatigue today. I don’t remember how early I felt symptoms last time and I did not chart my temps last time, so that will be new to me. I hope I can be lucky enough to conceive quickly again. I do know that I started to feel very tired and had breast tenderness last time pretty early on, but I think it was just before my period would have started, so I have to wait another week and a half to see what happens. I don’t think it happened this month though. I doubt that I even ovulated. I’ll go in for a lab next week to find out for sure though. That will set my mind at ease. If I at least ovulate I have a chance.
It is nice to be actively trying though instead of just waiting. It is hard to wait, but I have waited before. I’m learning a great lesson in patience. I wish I would have been more detailed last time in my journal at home to compare. At least this time I’m trying to be more aware. I think last time everything was just so surreal. I really didn’t expect to get pregnant the very first month of Clomid. I had no expectations going into the experience. This time I have hope that I will have the same luck, but who knows. I just hope it does happen in the first three months like my doctor predicted.
I don’t know if tracking things helps or not. It can’t be healthy to think about conceiving so much. I mean, charting temps, taking daily ovulation tests…just waiting for the time to come. It is just too much anticipation. If I don’t get pregnant this month I’ll probably not go crazy with all this stuff next time. We did just fine last year without it. I think I was more relaxed too which helps. The blood test that I am getting next week will be more accurate than those tests I did all week this week, so I might as well just let the doctor do her thing and let things happen as they happen.
In the meantime I am going to cut out sodas again. It is time. I indulged since Orion passed away in comfort “foods” like soda, but now I need to be back on track. I’m also going to try to make more time for exercise for the next few weeks. If I’m given a bit more time without pregnancy I might as well make the most of it.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Diet Completed
10/23/06
I’m now on Day 6 of my diet! I can’t believe I made it this far. I did loose pounds, but not the ten pounds in a week that the diet boasts. It’s probably because I drank diet sodas daily. It looks like I’ve lost four pounds though and that’s good. I still have the rest of today and tomorrow to go though. I am on the “easy” part. I get to eat beef and veggies today. I don’t feel starving all day, so that’s good. After the diet is over I’ll take a few days off (but I still plan on eating light) and then I’ll do another week of this.
10/25/06
I’m officially done with my diet as of last night. I lost four pounds. It’s good. I am starting another one on Monday with my boss. This one seems easier. I have heard good things about this one, so I’m interested to see the results. My friend recently lost five pounds in a week with this diet and my boss told me that she and her sister have done this diet before and lost weight on it. That would be nice, so if this one works I’ll probably use this one for a while. I just needed to take a few days off in between diets.
I have two weeks until I see my doctor and start up the Clomid again. I am looking forward to getting that going. I really enjoy the acupuncture, but it’s not working quickly enough for me. I told my acupuncturist that I would start coming after I successfully had a baby and would be more patient about getting my cycles regulated. Right now I just want to hurry up and get knocked up again. I don’t want to be patient. I can’t believe it has been five months already since I had Orion. Although sometimes I feel like it never happened. I think of my pregnancy like it was a dream. It’s hard to believe that I lost my little person.
The best I can do for myself right now is to think positively about the future and work hard. The days and weeks are passing relatively quickly and I’m very happy about that. I heard that my brother (who is in the navy) might be visiting home for Thanksgiving. I’m hoping this is true. It would be nice to see him. If not he is planning a visit to California in the summer, so I hope to see him there. It would be fun to go to the beach out there even though I hope to be huge with pregnancy again by then. I really didn’t mind though this last time. I miss feeling Orion.
I’m now on Day 6 of my diet! I can’t believe I made it this far. I did loose pounds, but not the ten pounds in a week that the diet boasts. It’s probably because I drank diet sodas daily. It looks like I’ve lost four pounds though and that’s good. I still have the rest of today and tomorrow to go though. I am on the “easy” part. I get to eat beef and veggies today. I don’t feel starving all day, so that’s good. After the diet is over I’ll take a few days off (but I still plan on eating light) and then I’ll do another week of this.
10/25/06
I’m officially done with my diet as of last night. I lost four pounds. It’s good. I am starting another one on Monday with my boss. This one seems easier. I have heard good things about this one, so I’m interested to see the results. My friend recently lost five pounds in a week with this diet and my boss told me that she and her sister have done this diet before and lost weight on it. That would be nice, so if this one works I’ll probably use this one for a while. I just needed to take a few days off in between diets.
I have two weeks until I see my doctor and start up the Clomid again. I am looking forward to getting that going. I really enjoy the acupuncture, but it’s not working quickly enough for me. I told my acupuncturist that I would start coming after I successfully had a baby and would be more patient about getting my cycles regulated. Right now I just want to hurry up and get knocked up again. I don’t want to be patient. I can’t believe it has been five months already since I had Orion. Although sometimes I feel like it never happened. I think of my pregnancy like it was a dream. It’s hard to believe that I lost my little person.
The best I can do for myself right now is to think positively about the future and work hard. The days and weeks are passing relatively quickly and I’m very happy about that. I heard that my brother (who is in the navy) might be visiting home for Thanksgiving. I’m hoping this is true. It would be nice to see him. If not he is planning a visit to California in the summer, so I hope to see him there. It would be fun to go to the beach out there even though I hope to be huge with pregnancy again by then. I really didn’t mind though this last time. I miss feeling Orion.
Friday, October 20, 2006
A little lighter
So, last night I was feeling pretty light headed at my second job. I thought I’d have to go home because I was feeling sick. I stuck it out though and felt a bit better after a short break and ate some cucumber and asparagus. I figured I was probably feeling pretty crummy because of my diet. I had not eaten anything substantial since the potato I had for breakfast that morning. No wonder I was feeling faint! I did manage to exercise after work anyway, so that’s good.
Today my menu consists of only fruits and veggies, but no bananas or potatoes. I had a fruit salad for breakfast. It feels good to exercise my willpower. I don’t do that often enough. I weighed myself (even though I should just wait until the diet is complete) and I have lost some pounds already. Yay. I just wanted to make sure that all this hunger is worth while. It will be great to eat again though. I miss Mexican food the most. I really want to go to Taco Del Mar today for lunch. It’s a good thing I already have something else planned for lunch though. I’m going to the store tonight to get the ingredients for the special soup that goes along with this diet. I’m going to cook some up tonight most likely.
I’m also excited to play The Sims 2: Pets that came out this week. I purchased it this morning. That will probably keep me up a little late tonight. (But at least it will distract me from my hunger.)
Today my menu consists of only fruits and veggies, but no bananas or potatoes. I had a fruit salad for breakfast. It feels good to exercise my willpower. I don’t do that often enough. I weighed myself (even though I should just wait until the diet is complete) and I have lost some pounds already. Yay. I just wanted to make sure that all this hunger is worth while. It will be great to eat again though. I miss Mexican food the most. I really want to go to Taco Del Mar today for lunch. It’s a good thing I already have something else planned for lunch though. I’m going to the store tonight to get the ingredients for the special soup that goes along with this diet. I’m going to cook some up tonight most likely.
I’m also excited to play The Sims 2: Pets that came out this week. I purchased it this morning. That will probably keep me up a little late tonight. (But at least it will distract me from my hunger.)
Thursday, October 19, 2006
New diet
10/18/06
So, I’m starting a week long diet. Yeah, I know that usually people gain back all the weight after a rapid weight loss diet, but it sure would be nice to have that weight taken away. I am trying to loose the last of my baby weight. It would be great to loose it before I got pregnant again. I hope to get pregnant in the next few months, but for now I’ll work hard at loosing weight. Today was day one (of seven) and I was supposed to eat only fruits. I had an avocado for lunch to help me get through the day. I have been hungry almost all day, but it will be good if this works. Tomorrow is only veggies. I’ll start the day with a baked potato. We’ll see how that one goes too. Should be interesting.
My nose ring is out already by the way. It just didn't feel right for me. I liked it though. I had it in for a few days before my boss pulled me aside and asked about it. I thought this was kind of silly because there are several people, one in the same department as I am with nose piercings, but of course I get called out. I should have known better. I can't get away with anything...that's just the way it is for me.
Acupuncture has done nothing for me yet in the way of making ovulation happen. Unfortunately it can take up to six months to regulate someone. I’ll probably just have to go back to that after I have my next child. I don’t want to wait that long. I’d rather get the ball rolling by taking good ole Clomid. I have an appointment in a few weeks with my doctor, so I’ll be asking for this process to commence. I really do enjoy acupuncture though and have an appointment weekly until I have my MD appointment. I have also asked for pressure points to be put in my ear for weight loss. I did loose two pounds in the second week that I had them in. I was told that they help to speed up metabolism. That’s always good.
I was feeling pretty down on Sunday because my sister was talking about her latest (fourth) pregnancy. She is 15 weeks along and thinks the baby might be a boy. She will know for sure in a few weeks. She was telling me the names she has chosen and all that pregnancy excitement stuff and it made me a little jealous. I want those things again.
10/19/06
Day two of my diet and I had a potato for breakfast. That is what the diet said to do, so that’s what I’m doing. For the remainder of the day I am only allowed to eat vegetables. Last night was difficult because at my part time job they had free pizza, chips, cake, etc out on the tables in the break room. I just put my nose in the book I’m reading and ate my watermelon and cantaloupe. I hope today will be a bit easier. I feel a lot better already since I’ve started the day with a potato. I feel pretty full. I am very interested to see if I do loose the weight the diet claims a person should loose while on this diet. I feel like a science project. If the diet does work I’ll take a few days off and then start another week. I am working out in the evenings after my second job to help the process along. I also just feel better after a good work out. I wish I had more time to work out, but I just can’t get myself out of bed earlier in the morning. Oh well, at least I am squeezing some in. It will be nice when I go back to one full time job and I dream of the day I have a child and a part time job. That will be so great.
So, I’m starting a week long diet. Yeah, I know that usually people gain back all the weight after a rapid weight loss diet, but it sure would be nice to have that weight taken away. I am trying to loose the last of my baby weight. It would be great to loose it before I got pregnant again. I hope to get pregnant in the next few months, but for now I’ll work hard at loosing weight. Today was day one (of seven) and I was supposed to eat only fruits. I had an avocado for lunch to help me get through the day. I have been hungry almost all day, but it will be good if this works. Tomorrow is only veggies. I’ll start the day with a baked potato. We’ll see how that one goes too. Should be interesting.
My nose ring is out already by the way. It just didn't feel right for me. I liked it though. I had it in for a few days before my boss pulled me aside and asked about it. I thought this was kind of silly because there are several people, one in the same department as I am with nose piercings, but of course I get called out. I should have known better. I can't get away with anything...that's just the way it is for me.
Acupuncture has done nothing for me yet in the way of making ovulation happen. Unfortunately it can take up to six months to regulate someone. I’ll probably just have to go back to that after I have my next child. I don’t want to wait that long. I’d rather get the ball rolling by taking good ole Clomid. I have an appointment in a few weeks with my doctor, so I’ll be asking for this process to commence. I really do enjoy acupuncture though and have an appointment weekly until I have my MD appointment. I have also asked for pressure points to be put in my ear for weight loss. I did loose two pounds in the second week that I had them in. I was told that they help to speed up metabolism. That’s always good.
I was feeling pretty down on Sunday because my sister was talking about her latest (fourth) pregnancy. She is 15 weeks along and thinks the baby might be a boy. She will know for sure in a few weeks. She was telling me the names she has chosen and all that pregnancy excitement stuff and it made me a little jealous. I want those things again.
10/19/06
Day two of my diet and I had a potato for breakfast. That is what the diet said to do, so that’s what I’m doing. For the remainder of the day I am only allowed to eat vegetables. Last night was difficult because at my part time job they had free pizza, chips, cake, etc out on the tables in the break room. I just put my nose in the book I’m reading and ate my watermelon and cantaloupe. I hope today will be a bit easier. I feel a lot better already since I’ve started the day with a potato. I feel pretty full. I am very interested to see if I do loose the weight the diet claims a person should loose while on this diet. I feel like a science project. If the diet does work I’ll take a few days off and then start another week. I am working out in the evenings after my second job to help the process along. I also just feel better after a good work out. I wish I had more time to work out, but I just can’t get myself out of bed earlier in the morning. Oh well, at least I am squeezing some in. It will be nice when I go back to one full time job and I dream of the day I have a child and a part time job. That will be so great.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Nose
Sometimes I feel like I should be the highest paid actress in Hollywood…or at least the second highest. I smile and get my work done and keep my head up during my two jobs. Yeah, two jobs, but I am choosing that. It’s to save up for things we want. I hope this is the last time I will be able to work two jobs. Once we do have a child that survives I will cut my hours back to one full time job with the ultimate goal of part time and eventually no job at all. Inside I am feeling pretty fragile emotionally sometimes. I feel teary sometimes, but mostly at night before bed. That’s when I do most of my thinking. I am successful with distracting myself most of the day, but when I am trying to relax at night to sleep thoughts of Orion creep in and that is when I think of him the most. I take Benedryl to help me sleep sometimes. I need to be really tired to get to bed. Lately it has not been so hard with the hours I’m working.
This is a time in my life where I feel like I should do everything I’ve wanted to do, within reason. I don’t want any regrets. When I look back at my life later on I want to smile, not frown. I also do not want to wonder what something would have been like. I have been given some extra time for whatever reason to be without a living child, so I am going to make the most of it. Although sometimes I feel like I am just marking time until I am pregnant again. I am attempting to make my days go by faster by working so many hours. I’m a little frustrated with my work out schedule though. I was working out almost daily before I started working two jobs, but now I have a hard time fitting more than two in a week. I can’t get my butt out of bed early enough before my first job to get that part done I do want to loose my baby weight and since I’m not getting pregnant fast enough for my liking I might as well get rid of that (as I eat a chocolate Entenmann's donut). In my acupuncture I mentioned that I’d like to loose some weight and she placed some small pins in my ear to help me along. I feel like this is an interesting experiment for me.
I also got my nose pierced on Monday. I have been thinking about it for a little while, but didn’t think I would really do it. I love how it looks on other people, so I wanted to try it out on myself. I am still getting used to it, but I like it so far. In six weeks she can put a retainer in so I can take it out when I need to. This is part of my “no regrets” campaign. I saw a lady at the store the other day that looked to be my grandmother’s age and she had a nose ring, so I thought if she could do it I could do it and finally went to get it done. I am a little nervous about what people at church might say and I’m afraid of seeing the Bishop, (kind of like a rebellious teenager being afraid to show her dad). I’m sure it will be just fine though.
Since the theme of this blog lately has been focused on family planning I will say that I’m kind of disappointed that I have not had my period since August! Silly me, but I had hoped that my cycles would become regular after my pregnancy. Unfortunately that did not happen. My acupuncturist told me that it can take a while to regulate cycles and I understand that, but I told her I can take my time later (after I have a healthy child) with getting a regular cycle. I would like to take the Clomid as soon as possible (November) to get the show on the road right now and then later I’ll be patient and try to regulate my cycles with acupuncture. I’m actually counting down the weeks until my appointment. At least then I can start getting a push in the right direction. I got pregnant the first month I took Clomid last time. I’m not going to expect to get pregnant the first month again, but at least I know it works.
This is a time in my life where I feel like I should do everything I’ve wanted to do, within reason. I don’t want any regrets. When I look back at my life later on I want to smile, not frown. I also do not want to wonder what something would have been like. I have been given some extra time for whatever reason to be without a living child, so I am going to make the most of it. Although sometimes I feel like I am just marking time until I am pregnant again. I am attempting to make my days go by faster by working so many hours. I’m a little frustrated with my work out schedule though. I was working out almost daily before I started working two jobs, but now I have a hard time fitting more than two in a week. I can’t get my butt out of bed early enough before my first job to get that part done I do want to loose my baby weight and since I’m not getting pregnant fast enough for my liking I might as well get rid of that (as I eat a chocolate Entenmann's donut). In my acupuncture I mentioned that I’d like to loose some weight and she placed some small pins in my ear to help me along. I feel like this is an interesting experiment for me.
I also got my nose pierced on Monday. I have been thinking about it for a little while, but didn’t think I would really do it. I love how it looks on other people, so I wanted to try it out on myself. I am still getting used to it, but I like it so far. In six weeks she can put a retainer in so I can take it out when I need to. This is part of my “no regrets” campaign. I saw a lady at the store the other day that looked to be my grandmother’s age and she had a nose ring, so I thought if she could do it I could do it and finally went to get it done. I am a little nervous about what people at church might say and I’m afraid of seeing the Bishop, (kind of like a rebellious teenager being afraid to show her dad). I’m sure it will be just fine though.
Since the theme of this blog lately has been focused on family planning I will say that I’m kind of disappointed that I have not had my period since August! Silly me, but I had hoped that my cycles would become regular after my pregnancy. Unfortunately that did not happen. My acupuncturist told me that it can take a while to regulate cycles and I understand that, but I told her I can take my time later (after I have a healthy child) with getting a regular cycle. I would like to take the Clomid as soon as possible (November) to get the show on the road right now and then later I’ll be patient and try to regulate my cycles with acupuncture. I’m actually counting down the weeks until my appointment. At least then I can start getting a push in the right direction. I got pregnant the first month I took Clomid last time. I’m not going to expect to get pregnant the first month again, but at least I know it works.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Party near my house
I had a nice dinner out with Dom on Saturday night. We celebrated our 5th anniversary. I can’t believe it has been that many years. Saturday night we stayed up kind of late watching TV and then I read a book. I went to bed at almost 1. At 230 I hear loud talking and bass from music. I thought it was our crazy neighbors in some town homes behind us because they are always fighting or having a party. I looked out the window and noticed that it was dark in the crazy neighbor home. This noise persisted and I went downstairs to investigate. The girls in the townhome down the row from mine were evidently partying. I went upstairs and read a book for a while. At 3 I decided to knock on their door. I stood outside my place staring at theirs not wanting to interrupt their party, but also dying for some sleep. I’m starting to get a cold and really needed some rest. The girls happened to come outside to get something out of their car. I got their attention and asked for them to please keep it down. They apologized and said they would take the party to the back. I saw one of the girls shut the front window as she went back inside.
I went back to my house and tried to get back to sleep. Unfortunately after people have alcohol in their systems it makes them talk louder…not to mention the music they had playing that had to be talked over. The bass could be heard through my walls and I’m not even attached to their place. All the lights were out in the town homes surrounding us, so I wondered if I was the only one hearing this. My husband was blissfully snoring through the whole ordeal. I hate being a light sleeper. At 4 I had finally had my fill. I stomped out of the house and knocked on the door. I knocked again. I then tried the doorbell (which did not work) and then knocked one last time. Two young guys walked by and I asked them if they were going to the party. They said, “No, are you?” I said no and then watched them walk by. I wondered where they were going if they weren’t going to the party. (I live in a small complex and know everyone that lives there.) I decided I should just go inside and hope the party would end soon. They must be getting tired or too drunk to stay awake at some point soon I hoped.
I walked to my door and saw the two guys walking around in the trees between the town homes. I wondered what went on at night outside and was glad to be back inside behind locked doors. I wished that the cops would come to break up the party, but I didn’t want to call myself. It finally quieted down at 5 and I was back in bed by 530. It was so nice to sleep.
Just for the record I’m okay with people having parties on the weekend. It would just be nice if the party was quiet or done after 1 AM. After that it’s just plain rude. I really wanted to lay on my car horn the following morning just out of spite…but I didn’t. I just really needed my sleep because of this darn cold that is creeping up. I bought some Zicam, so I hope that works for me. I have to work 68 hours this week, so I need all the help I can get.
This morning I went in to my ivillage fertility chart and caught up on logging my basal temperatures. I haven’t been taking them at exactly the same time every morning, but around the same time…except for Sunday when I slept in until 10 (that temp was really high). Anyway, after logging in the temps the calendar said “Pregnant!” I said, yeah right. Just because I haven’t had my cycle yet doesn’t mean I am. I wish I had a regular cycle. I don’t feel pregnant. I also took a pregnancy test last week and it was negative. It would have been nice if I am pregnant, but I don’t think I am. I am just hoping acupuncture helps me out with my cycles. She said it can take a few months though to regulate me. In a few months I can start taking Clomid again though. It worked for me with Orion, so I am pretty hopeful that it will work again quickly. I can start that in the end of November. I look forward to that.
I went back to my house and tried to get back to sleep. Unfortunately after people have alcohol in their systems it makes them talk louder…not to mention the music they had playing that had to be talked over. The bass could be heard through my walls and I’m not even attached to their place. All the lights were out in the town homes surrounding us, so I wondered if I was the only one hearing this. My husband was blissfully snoring through the whole ordeal. I hate being a light sleeper. At 4 I had finally had my fill. I stomped out of the house and knocked on the door. I knocked again. I then tried the doorbell (which did not work) and then knocked one last time. Two young guys walked by and I asked them if they were going to the party. They said, “No, are you?” I said no and then watched them walk by. I wondered where they were going if they weren’t going to the party. (I live in a small complex and know everyone that lives there.) I decided I should just go inside and hope the party would end soon. They must be getting tired or too drunk to stay awake at some point soon I hoped.
I walked to my door and saw the two guys walking around in the trees between the town homes. I wondered what went on at night outside and was glad to be back inside behind locked doors. I wished that the cops would come to break up the party, but I didn’t want to call myself. It finally quieted down at 5 and I was back in bed by 530. It was so nice to sleep.
Just for the record I’m okay with people having parties on the weekend. It would just be nice if the party was quiet or done after 1 AM. After that it’s just plain rude. I really wanted to lay on my car horn the following morning just out of spite…but I didn’t. I just really needed my sleep because of this darn cold that is creeping up. I bought some Zicam, so I hope that works for me. I have to work 68 hours this week, so I need all the help I can get.
This morning I went in to my ivillage fertility chart and caught up on logging my basal temperatures. I haven’t been taking them at exactly the same time every morning, but around the same time…except for Sunday when I slept in until 10 (that temp was really high). Anyway, after logging in the temps the calendar said “Pregnant!” I said, yeah right. Just because I haven’t had my cycle yet doesn’t mean I am. I wish I had a regular cycle. I don’t feel pregnant. I also took a pregnancy test last week and it was negative. It would have been nice if I am pregnant, but I don’t think I am. I am just hoping acupuncture helps me out with my cycles. She said it can take a few months though to regulate me. In a few months I can start taking Clomid again though. It worked for me with Orion, so I am pretty hopeful that it will work again quickly. I can start that in the end of November. I look forward to that.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Everyone Out!
So, just as church was ending on Sunday the Bishop came in to inform us that we needed to exit the building as soon as possible. A lady in the ward was talking to me about a potential sewing project she would like me to help with (I don’t sew). I said I would love to help if I had a sewing machine. (I actually do own a sewing machine, but have never used it; in fact, my mother in law is using it back in Santa Barbara.) I’m thinking about just buying another one and letting her keep it. I decided to check out the bulletin board on the way out of church because I missed some of what the Bishop said and thought maybe he just mentioned going home because we should spend time with our families. I proceeded to walk outside and a young woman in the ward asked me if I knew what was going on. I shrugged my shoulders and she said, “I heard something about a bomb.”
I walked out into the parking lot and noticed a couple cop cars blocking the driveway near my car. I went home and was a bit alarmed about the scenario in my head picturing the building exploding behind me in my rear view mirror and expecting to hear sirens. (I have a bit of an imagination). I thought of a time when I was sixteen or seventeen when I drove home from a youth dance at my church when some friends where in the midst of a fight. It was the same thing…part of me wanted to stay to see if things would be okay, but on the other hand I obeyed my “orders” and drove home.
In both cases I received updates on the situation unexpectedly the next morning. In my youth I heard people talking about the fight that stayed to watch how everything unfolded in my Sunday school class. In this most recent experience I was listening to the radio and there was a little news update and the DJ mentioned the evacuation and informed that there were four pipe bombs found on the property. Three had been detonated and one was live still. I was parked pretty darn close to the live one. The bomb squad was called in from Salem and everything. Good times. Anyway, they say the church was not a target and it was probably just some kids playing around (there is a large grass field). It just made for an interesting Sunday and walk down memory lane.
In other news about me I’m still doing electrolysis and enjoying the results of that. I would have napped today if it weren’t for the pain of the actual process. I’m also really enjoying my acupuncture and adjusting to my new work schedule. I’ve been working a lot lately. It’s good for me to stay busy. I need it.
I walked out into the parking lot and noticed a couple cop cars blocking the driveway near my car. I went home and was a bit alarmed about the scenario in my head picturing the building exploding behind me in my rear view mirror and expecting to hear sirens. (I have a bit of an imagination). I thought of a time when I was sixteen or seventeen when I drove home from a youth dance at my church when some friends where in the midst of a fight. It was the same thing…part of me wanted to stay to see if things would be okay, but on the other hand I obeyed my “orders” and drove home.
In both cases I received updates on the situation unexpectedly the next morning. In my youth I heard people talking about the fight that stayed to watch how everything unfolded in my Sunday school class. In this most recent experience I was listening to the radio and there was a little news update and the DJ mentioned the evacuation and informed that there were four pipe bombs found on the property. Three had been detonated and one was live still. I was parked pretty darn close to the live one. The bomb squad was called in from Salem and everything. Good times. Anyway, they say the church was not a target and it was probably just some kids playing around (there is a large grass field). It just made for an interesting Sunday and walk down memory lane.
In other news about me I’m still doing electrolysis and enjoying the results of that. I would have napped today if it weren’t for the pain of the actual process. I’m also really enjoying my acupuncture and adjusting to my new work schedule. I’ve been working a lot lately. It’s good for me to stay busy. I need it.
Friday, September 08, 2006
no cavities
No cavities! Yeah, that’s right…no cavities. I went to the dentist today and had a cleaning done. It was nice to get that over with. I had to get a full set of x-rays and all that good stuff. I always worry about cavities because when I was a wee lass I had tons of cavities and then as a young adult I had three, yeah, three root canals. Ouch. At least I haven’t had to have my wisdom teeth taken out (that means I’m pretty wise, right?).
I’m continuing with my acupuncture and loving that. Although I will say that yesterday when she placed one in the top of my head I didn’t like that very much. She said it was good that I felt the “presence” that meant it was working. Good thing too. Overall I do find it very relaxing though. Also, I'm not a big fan of the herbs I am taking. The aftertaste is pretty gross. My husband says they smell like a stout beer. I don't know why anyone would recreationally drink something that smells that badly. Anyway, hopefully we will see the results next week when I'm supposed to have a cycle. (Fingers crossed.)
As for weekend plans not much going on here I’m working Saturday, but otherwise I think we are just going out to eat, go grocery shopping, and laundry needs to be done. Nothing spectacular there.
My life is pretty ho hum at the moment. I don’t mind that too much because that means that things are settling down.
I’m continuing with my acupuncture and loving that. Although I will say that yesterday when she placed one in the top of my head I didn’t like that very much. She said it was good that I felt the “presence” that meant it was working. Good thing too. Overall I do find it very relaxing though. Also, I'm not a big fan of the herbs I am taking. The aftertaste is pretty gross. My husband says they smell like a stout beer. I don't know why anyone would recreationally drink something that smells that badly. Anyway, hopefully we will see the results next week when I'm supposed to have a cycle. (Fingers crossed.)
As for weekend plans not much going on here I’m working Saturday, but otherwise I think we are just going out to eat, go grocery shopping, and laundry needs to be done. Nothing spectacular there.
My life is pretty ho hum at the moment. I don’t mind that too much because that means that things are settling down.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Sept is here
What’s been going on in my life you ask? Well…I’ll tell ya. I’m doing better with the news my sister dealt me about expecting another child. I really am happy for her. Her youngest daughter is just a joy and her older boys will always hold a soft spot in my heart.
I did start acupuncture and have been twice now. I am going once a week for a while and then will probably go every two weeks later on in treatment. It’s relaxing to have acupuncture. I wasn’t sure if I would like it or not, but I really do. I’m looking forward to finding out if it will help regulate me. I am taking these herbal vitamins to help with the process as well. They taste pretty gross. Dom says that they smell like a stout beer. I just hope that this helps my body to ovulate regularly. That would increase our odds of conceiving.
I have successfully discontinued caffeinated sodas. I have had a soda here or there, but not daily, so I am looking forward to seeing the pounds melt away. I have been working out as well, so that has been good for me. I really enjoy working out. (I just wish it showed by how fit I’d like to be). We can’t have everything now can we. I am just going to keep trucking away. I decided that if I get pregnant again soon I’ll just have to work that much harder after I have my next child. I’m okay with that although I’m not looking forward to looking at the scale as the next pregnancy progresses if I start ten pounds higher than last time. I was told by a friend to just simply stop looking at the scale when pregnant. I might just follow that advice.
I have taken a part time job in addition to my full time job. I think it will be okay because I will still be home by 9 and never work Sundays. That’s pretty good in my book. I am starting tonight and I’m looking forward to it. I am working towards buying a truck for Dom and a few other goals we’d like to achieve. Dom and I decided that we’d like to have me work part time or not at all after our healthy child arrives, so I am okay with working extra long hours for now. It’s only temporary. I’m just pleased that he is on board with me working part time instead of full time when we are parents. I’m blessed that he changed his point of view. Now we just have to get that healthy child.
I seriously doubt that I am pregnant. I don’t think it will be that easy for us. I would be thrilled if we were though. I’m sure it will take a few months though at the very least. I miss pregnancy so very much, yes even the uncomfortable moments. I look forward to the day when we know that we have a healthy baby and can hold him/her in our arms.
I had a hard time sleeping last night. I think there were several factors involved. I was anticipating the start date for my second job tonight for one thing. Last night was my last evening at home for a while. I also was thinking about Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter. He was killed by a stingray and I was thinking about how sad his family must be. I thought about the loss of a husband and father. It lead me to think about Orion and how much I miss him still. I thought about when I held Orion for the last time. A part of me went with Orion. I did receive blessings from my experience this summer though. It was not all bad. I now have a much stronger bond with my husband and love him much more. I loved him before, but it grew into something else. I can say with certainty that I love my husband more than our wedding day.
Oh, I have also been getting electrolysis. It has been an interesting endeavor. I am starting to have my armpits worked on. I don’t show my pits very often, but it’s just going to be nice knowing there is no hair there.
I did start acupuncture and have been twice now. I am going once a week for a while and then will probably go every two weeks later on in treatment. It’s relaxing to have acupuncture. I wasn’t sure if I would like it or not, but I really do. I’m looking forward to finding out if it will help regulate me. I am taking these herbal vitamins to help with the process as well. They taste pretty gross. Dom says that they smell like a stout beer. I just hope that this helps my body to ovulate regularly. That would increase our odds of conceiving.
I have successfully discontinued caffeinated sodas. I have had a soda here or there, but not daily, so I am looking forward to seeing the pounds melt away. I have been working out as well, so that has been good for me. I really enjoy working out. (I just wish it showed by how fit I’d like to be). We can’t have everything now can we. I am just going to keep trucking away. I decided that if I get pregnant again soon I’ll just have to work that much harder after I have my next child. I’m okay with that although I’m not looking forward to looking at the scale as the next pregnancy progresses if I start ten pounds higher than last time. I was told by a friend to just simply stop looking at the scale when pregnant. I might just follow that advice.
I have taken a part time job in addition to my full time job. I think it will be okay because I will still be home by 9 and never work Sundays. That’s pretty good in my book. I am starting tonight and I’m looking forward to it. I am working towards buying a truck for Dom and a few other goals we’d like to achieve. Dom and I decided that we’d like to have me work part time or not at all after our healthy child arrives, so I am okay with working extra long hours for now. It’s only temporary. I’m just pleased that he is on board with me working part time instead of full time when we are parents. I’m blessed that he changed his point of view. Now we just have to get that healthy child.
I seriously doubt that I am pregnant. I don’t think it will be that easy for us. I would be thrilled if we were though. I’m sure it will take a few months though at the very least. I miss pregnancy so very much, yes even the uncomfortable moments. I look forward to the day when we know that we have a healthy baby and can hold him/her in our arms.
I had a hard time sleeping last night. I think there were several factors involved. I was anticipating the start date for my second job tonight for one thing. Last night was my last evening at home for a while. I also was thinking about Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter. He was killed by a stingray and I was thinking about how sad his family must be. I thought about the loss of a husband and father. It lead me to think about Orion and how much I miss him still. I thought about when I held Orion for the last time. A part of me went with Orion. I did receive blessings from my experience this summer though. It was not all bad. I now have a much stronger bond with my husband and love him much more. I loved him before, but it grew into something else. I can say with certainty that I love my husband more than our wedding day.
Oh, I have also been getting electrolysis. It has been an interesting endeavor. I am starting to have my armpits worked on. I don’t show my pits very often, but it’s just going to be nice knowing there is no hair there.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
My sister
My sister called me late last week and told me that she is expecting her fourth child. I knew she was trying for one more child, but hoped that it would take a bit longer. I selfishly wish that she could have just waited a bit longer before procreating once again. I am happy for her though. She is barely over 35, so it’s better for her to get pregnant now rather than later.
Dom and I are going to try again soon anyway. We both feel the urge to make another attempt at parenthood. I feel pretty good about it. I do feel strongly about starting to try soon. It’s strange because I am usually a “cup half empty” kind of person when it comes to things for myself. In this case after all that has happened I’m feeling completely the opposite. I feel like things are going to work out this time. I feel like Dom and I will have a healthy child. It’s probably crazy for me to think this way.
There are a few factors involved in deciding if we are going to start trying this month or not. I had my MMR vaccination just about a month ago and I just want to make sure that I space it out appropriately. The CDC says to wait 28 days and the egg would not be fertilized until week after. (If we were lucky enough to conceive the first month we tried). I called my OB/GYN to ask about this.
I am going to start acupuncture next week to help with fertility because I do not cycle regularly. It will be interesting to see if this works for me. My doctor did tell me that if we didn’t get pregnant after three months of trying that she would issue us some Clomid again because of my troubles with conceiving in the past.
In the meantime I am going to try to loose weight. I still have to loose that last ten pounds. I am going to give up soda as of today. I indulged myself in drinking Pepsi again after Orin was born, but now it’s time to give it up again for two reasons…weight loss and I don’t want the caffeine in my system if and when we conceive.
Dom and I are going to try again soon anyway. We both feel the urge to make another attempt at parenthood. I feel pretty good about it. I do feel strongly about starting to try soon. It’s strange because I am usually a “cup half empty” kind of person when it comes to things for myself. In this case after all that has happened I’m feeling completely the opposite. I feel like things are going to work out this time. I feel like Dom and I will have a healthy child. It’s probably crazy for me to think this way.
There are a few factors involved in deciding if we are going to start trying this month or not. I had my MMR vaccination just about a month ago and I just want to make sure that I space it out appropriately. The CDC says to wait 28 days and the egg would not be fertilized until week after. (If we were lucky enough to conceive the first month we tried). I called my OB/GYN to ask about this.
I am going to start acupuncture next week to help with fertility because I do not cycle regularly. It will be interesting to see if this works for me. My doctor did tell me that if we didn’t get pregnant after three months of trying that she would issue us some Clomid again because of my troubles with conceiving in the past.
In the meantime I am going to try to loose weight. I still have to loose that last ten pounds. I am going to give up soda as of today. I indulged myself in drinking Pepsi again after Orin was born, but now it’s time to give it up again for two reasons…weight loss and I don’t want the caffeine in my system if and when we conceive.
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