CD 18

Today I am on day 18 of my cycle and I am not sure if I ovulated or not. I started taking ovulation tests on cycle day 12 and had a slight purple line on the result side of the window. I know that Clomid can kind of mess with the results, so I was waiting for a dark purple line to indicate ovulation was going to occur. I had also heard to test in the afternoon and twice a day to detect the surge. I was on vacation for Thanksgiving though and could not test at the same time daily, so this was not ideal. We did see purple for many days, but it was hard to tell if the test was a positive or not. I think it was more frustrating than last year when we conceived. I didn’t get ovulation tests and we did just fine. I don’t know if I’m going to try that again next month (if I don’t get pregnant this month.) I did take tests up until yesterday when I got one that was obviously absent of any purple line. I must have already ovulated then during my purple days. I just don’t know what day. There were days that the purple line was pretty darn close to the control line. I could have had diluted urine (I drink a lot of water). I am charting my basal temps still, but that was kind of screwy as well since I didn’t get up at the same time daily and sometimes would forget to put the thermometer next to my bedside and would have to walk over and find it in my travel bag. I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that it did happen. Dom and I made sure to cover our bases just in case if you know what I mean. Part of me still wants to take the ovulation predictor tests for a few more days just to see if I experience more purple lines. I have three left since I bought two boxes, so I just might do that.

I’m not experiencing anything yet except for some stomach irritation and fatigue today. I don’t remember how early I felt symptoms last time and I did not chart my temps last time, so that will be new to me. I hope I can be lucky enough to conceive quickly again. I do know that I started to feel very tired and had breast tenderness last time pretty early on, but I think it was just before my period would have started, so I have to wait another week and a half to see what happens. I don’t think it happened this month though. I doubt that I even ovulated. I’ll go in for a lab next week to find out for sure though. That will set my mind at ease. If I at least ovulate I have a chance.

It is nice to be actively trying though instead of just waiting. It is hard to wait, but I have waited before. I’m learning a great lesson in patience. I wish I would have been more detailed last time in my journal at home to compare. At least this time I’m trying to be more aware. I think last time everything was just so surreal. I really didn’t expect to get pregnant the very first month of Clomid. I had no expectations going into the experience. This time I have hope that I will have the same luck, but who knows. I just hope it does happen in the first three months like my doctor predicted.

I don’t know if tracking things helps or not. It can’t be healthy to think about conceiving so much. I mean, charting temps, taking daily ovulation tests…just waiting for the time to come. It is just too much anticipation. If I don’t get pregnant this month I’ll probably not go crazy with all this stuff next time. We did just fine last year without it. I think I was more relaxed too which helps. The blood test that I am getting next week will be more accurate than those tests I did all week this week, so I might as well just let the doctor do her thing and let things happen as they happen.

In the meantime I am going to cut out sodas again. It is time. I indulged since Orion passed away in comfort “foods” like soda, but now I need to be back on track. I’m also going to try to make more time for exercise for the next few weeks. If I’m given a bit more time without pregnancy I might as well make the most of it.