New Cycle

I learned the other day at a doctor’s appointment that the plan for this month is to get an IUI. I’m so excited. This will be my first IUI and I hope for beginners luck. I was on Provera to induce my cycle, so hopefully any day now it will begin. In just a few weeks I’ll have that IUI and then two weeks later I will know if it was successful or not. I’m super excited and more than ready to venture into pregnancy again. At least I plan on being busy for the next few weeks and that will help to distract me while the time passes.

The above paragraph is how I felt just yesterday and I was even more excited when my cycle actually started up and I was able to call to plan my month. I had my fingers crossed for first timers luck with the IUI and all that good stuff. Unfortunately I called the MD office today to let them know I am now on a new cycle and to see when they want me to start taking the meds and have the ultrasound, etc. With my fertility luck I should not have been surprised when the nurse called me back to tell me that when I will be ready for my IUI both doctors that perform those will be out of town and herself too. Well duh, of course that would be the case even though she assured me this rarely happens. Rare things happen to me fairly often after all. I wonder why they did not realize this when I was in the office last week?

I have been feeling pretty low this afternoon since I heard that I have to wait until September now to try for the IUI. If I got pregnant I would then be due the same time of year as I was last time and I was hoping to avoid that…on the other hand I don’t want to wait until October and it would be nice to have something to celebrate that time of year. The nurse also told me maybe I’ll just happen to get pregnant this month without any medications or procedures and that it happens for a lot of people this way. Ha, I highly doubt that to be the case for me. What a roller coaster though. I was feeling excited about the IUI and that it is only two short weeks away and now it’s six weeks in the future at least.

So, I’m feeling pretty disillusioned right now with the whole thing and had thoughts enter my head like, “Why me?” “Why do I not deserve to have children?” and “I’ll never get pregnant again!”

I’m faced with a choice to either wait out this cycle, take no medications except for the metformin and hope for ovulation and when it doesn’t happen wait for six weeks from now to pass so that I can take Provera yet again to induce a cycle or I can take some Clomid that I have at home and hope for ovulation and of course, pregnancy. If I do not ovulate on the Clomid I’m in the same boat as I would be if I didn’t take it. I have to think about this…

I had a nice July 4th. It was our first really hot day of summer. Now the heat is really on…a few days ago it was 103 and the hottest day in three years. Yuck. On the fourth I went to the gym twice just so I could feel the air conditioning.

So, I feel like I’ve finally gotten past a milestone in that I’m not feeling nearly as bad about myself when someone announces that they are pregnant. I used to feel pretty sad and depressed upon hearing someone else’s joyful news. I just had three in a row here and I’m actually pretty happy for all three couples. Hopefully this trend will continue and then maybe someday I’ll be able to make another announcement of my own…that would be nice. A co-worker recently asked me if I was going to start trying again and she started to encourage me to. If she only knew…Ha! We have been trying. It’s not something we care to advertise though.

I went to the ski lift at Mt Bachelor over the weekend for their summer sightseeing lift. It was a clear day and the view was spectacular. We had lunch up at the summit and then rode the lift back down. I have to admit that I was pretty nervous about the adventure. I have never been on a ski lift…my parent’s didn’t do the skiing thing. I figured though that if my seven year old nephew could do it I could do it. My husband thought it looked like it would be fun to go four-wheeling at the mountain. I have never been, but someday I hope to. That will be an adventure yet to come.

I also saw the Transformers movie over the weekend and it was better than I expected it to be. It was funny and the effects were great. Overall I found it to be a two thumbs up experience…especially when I heard a soldier stay “Fricken” which I figure is probably the seldom used alternative to the other word it replaces. Which reminds me of the Ghost Hunters (I love that show). When ever Grant says “What the Fetch?!,” I know something good happened.