January 19, 2008

In the great words of creative genius Barry Manilow “I made it through the rain.” I delivered my babies early morning on January 19. The delivery itself went smoothly and was physically painless thanks to the epidural. The hospital experience was great. I felt compassion from the nurses and the doctors. I came home by late morning/early afternoon on Saturday and rested all weekend. I was sad when Dom had to go back to work on Monday morning. Just the same as with Orion I was feeling extra clingy and wanted him to be home. I’m glad I don’t have to set foot outside today though because it’s 5 degrees at the moment. Very chilly. Crazy as this might sound we have already decided that we have one more pregnancy in us. See how quickly that happens? Just a few days ago I never wanted to do it again. We are now planning a nice vacation. We said it after Orion, but didn’t do it. Now we have double the reason to go. It will be nice to just get away for a little while. In the near future I’m looking forward to returning to the gym to jog again. That will be therapeutic in itself. Dom and I are doing okay.

Here's an interesting fact: Orion passed away on my father's birthday in 2006 and Cali was stillborn on my mother's birthday this year. Strange coincidence?

Sad News

I had a doctor appointment yesterday for a check up. My doctor could not find Cali’s heartbeat, so she sent me to the hospital for an ultrasound there. Unfortunately the ultrasound confirmed that Cali had very recently passed. I went back to the doctor’s office and planned to come to the hospital very early this morning to induce labor…a process that can take 48 hours or so.

At this point I’m wondering if it’s something I did that caused her to pass away and I have lost confidence in successfully having a baby in the future. I’m not sure I’ll try getting pregnant again. I say that now, but I felt that way after Orion was born too, so maybe that will pass.

So, for now I just watch TV and wait. I am scared. I admit that. I try not to think about delivery too much though at this point. I’ll worry about it when we get there.

I just talked to the doctor and she told me that it was not anything I did and we will probably never know why she passed away. I just want to get this over with instead of waiting here in the hospital room anticipating.

The cats

Dom and I have two cats that live with us. We adopted Peaches (the calico) first. Dom didn’t want to get a cat, but it turned out that Peaches was all his. She didn’t even let me touch her unless I caught her for the first few years. Now she graces me with her presence from time to time for a pet or two. Peaches follows Dom around the house like a puppy and I think it’s kind of cute to see the bond that he reluctantly formed with her. Soon after we adopted Peach I decided that it just wasn’t fair that I wanted the cat and she didn’t even let me pet her, so I convinced Dom that I needed my very own kitten. Off to Oxnard we went to adopt Lola (black and white). Thankfully my plan worked out and Lola is all mine. What a sweet cat. The reason I give the background on this is because recently one morning Dom got up super early to do some snow removal work before going to his regular job. He left around 3:45 and very soon after he locked the front door to leave Peaches started crying for him. Not meowing, crying. It’s loud. It’s fairly annoying being that I enjoy my sleep very much and it was early morning. Not fun to hear that little cat echo through the house. I called out her name a few times and usually that works, but no, not this particular morning. Separation anxiety anyone?

As for the pregnancy I’m now 24 weeks pregnant and all seems to be going well. Last night when I was going to sleep Cali was kicking and I think even hard enough for Dom to feel finally. Hopefully today I’ll get some more good kicks and he will be able to experience Cali. I’ve been horrible about taking pictures of my belly this time. Last time I took one every month. I need to get on top of that.