The importance of floss

I ran out of floss the other day and knew it was going to be a bad day.

I had a bad day at work the other day. I just got back from a week vacation (which was wonderful by the way) on Tuesday and apparently while I was away some things happened. I could have fixed the problems had I been here, but I focused on other things before I left and let a few things fall through the cracks. Bummer. I was not punished or written up, but my supervisors were concerned that I was overloaded with work. I think I’m busy, but I like to be busy. I figure that my problem was just that I focused on other things before my trip and what can you do? There were also miscommunications involved. For a particular meeting I thought I had informed the people involved, but three of the five did not show up. Later one admitted to not listening when I informed her. Anyhow, I am the type of person to take myself very critically. I punish myself for wrongdoings. I thought about what happened for a day or two. Life is fine now at work and I love my job. At work they think I’m very capable and can handle anything.

Sometimes I feel like a fake though. I have this persona that I show other people. I show people a confident, happy, friendly person. Inside I’m afraid that I’ll mess up. I’m not good enough. I’m afraid that one day people will see me for who I really am. Once someone told me that I was the nicest person they knew. I felt so bad for her. I think unkind things about other people, she was one of them. I never told her any of the things I was thinking, so she thought I was nice, but I know what I was thinking. I hate to hurt people’s feelings.
Here is another thing I’m worried about. Motherhood! I want to have a child, but I don’t want to mess him/her up. I know that some of my childhood was messed up because of my parents and their relationship and I am terrified of doing that to my children. I have a good marriage this time around, but still, I’m scared. Okay, I’m also worried about gaining 30+ pounds while I’m pregnant and never loosing it like family members of mine.

Maybe I’m just hormonal right now and that’s why I’m worried so much about work, bills, and motherhood. Typical female, right? Blame it on hormones.