Monday, April 28, 2008
Could have beens
My due date would have been today. I have been thinking about Cali a lot in the past few weeks and what it might have been like. I think it’s appropriate to blog about her a little bit today. I remember in the past when I would watch TV shows that like Grey’s Anatomy and the story line included a woman who had to give birth to a still birth baby I always wondered how the woman did it. How could she push and go through all the pain of labor for a baby she wouldn’t get to raise? I thought it must be difficult to have the energy to push through all the grief. Then, unfortunately I had to experience it first hand and now I realize that it’s just something to get through. It was my obstacle to overcome and it’s up to me how I handle it. Hopefully someday I’ll be in labor again and I’ll have a different story to tell.
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3 comments:
Oh Amanda, I am so sorry for your loss (or losses). I have a few other friends who have experienced similar hard times and I just keep telling them that some of us are still in Mortality 101 (trying to learn how to be nice to each other) and they--and you too, aparently--have advanced to Mortality 400 (learning what it means to experience real pain and grief). I hope you experience labor again too...with long term happy endings. I will keep you and Dom in my prayers. (PS. I think the name Cali is adorable!)
I am sorry! I know how much that hurts. You have been such a great example to me. You are so strong and positive. Your great example has helped me get through some pretty hard times. I pray that you will experience labor again (most people dread that) and end up with a healthy baby. Even though you didn't have the choice in your trials, you have handled them remarkably. I love you and am so grateful for our friendship.
What Heidi said! You are amazing and you constantly inspire me. Hugs!
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